SugarDaddy.com is one of the earliest sugar dating communities on the internet, and it has made the same argument ever since. Two people do better when they say early on what each of them is hoping for. That idea turns up in nearly everything the site publishes.
So the first real work here is writing. You write about yourself, then read what other people wrote about themselves. The member base is large and active. A profile that says something true about you is how you find the people worth talking to.
What Is SugarDaddy.com?
SugarDaddy.com is a dating site for people who want sugar relationships, meaning connections built on companionship and on being open about what each person is after. You write a profile in your own words, and everyone else does too. Before you reach out to somebody, you get to read what they wrote.
The site was founded on one belief about people. Everyone wants something a little different in a partner, and a sugar relationship lasts when two people find that their needs and expectations already line up. That's why what you write about yourself does so much of the work here.
The community calls itself open-minded. Across the site, the writing about sugar dating is matter-of-fact all the way through. You can be direct about what you're after without bracing for the reaction you might get from friends or family.
Both people are choosing here. A mature member reads profiles as carefully as someone newer to sugar dating does, and the advice on the site is written for both.
Sugar Dating and Shared Expectations
On SugarDaddy.com, the conversation about what each person is looking for happens near the beginning. In general dating that talk waits for months, and plenty of disappointment builds up in the meantime. Saying it early takes most of that away.
Set your goals and expectations out at the start. That leaves less unsaid and fewer messages that can be read two ways.
What you get out of it is a lower-drama kind of dating. Two people who've already agreed on what they're after can spend their time together on the part they both came for. Respect for each other is what keeps it working.
That is slower than swiping, and the slowness is the point. You know something about a person before you send a first message.
How to Write a SugarDaddy.com Profile
Fill the whole profile in. A complete one is the best way to present yourself and to start conversations that go somewhere. Three lines leave whoever reads them guessing.
Say what kind of connection you're after, in your own words. Be specific about the parts that matter to you. Cut the lines that could belong to anyone. Vague writing is easy to produce and gives a reader nothing to answer, since the people who'd suit you can't find you in it. One sentence about how you'd spend a Saturday does more than a paragraph of adjectives.
Your username comes first. Someone reads it before they read a word you wrote. It's worth a minute of thought.
- Leave your real name out of it, along with your email address and the exact handle you use on social media.
- Skip anything crude or anything that might offend the person reading it.
- Pick something fun that sounds like you and is catchy enough to get noticed in a list.
It's a small choice, and it tells someone what kind of person wrote the profile before they've read a line of it.
Starting a First Conversation
A generic opening message tells the other person it went out to everybody. Mention one specific thing they wrote and it stops being generic. It also shows the other person that you read what they wrote. That's most of the technique.
Time together is the reason for all of this, and the early messages are how you work out if an evening with this person would be worth having. Ask how someone likes to spend an evening. That gets you further than a compliment does.
The honesty you put into the profile applies to the conversation too. Say what you're hoping for. Ask the other person the same question early, before either of you has built up an idea of the other that has to be corrected later.
Staying Safe as You Get to Know Someone
Go into each new connection with optimism tempered by common sense, and build trust from there.
In practice that comes down to a few habits. Keep your full name and your home address to yourself until you have a reason to share them. A video call before a first meeting answers a lot. Anyone who won't take one has told you something. Meet somewhere public the first time. Tell a friend where you're going and when you expect to be home, and go out with a charged phone.
The moment a conversation makes you uneasy, stop answering, then report the account. You don't owe anybody an explanation.
What You Can Read Before Joining
You can read the site before you decide anything. There's a long run of explainers for people new to sugar dating, plus ordinary relationship advice that has nothing to do with sugar dating at all. None of it needs an account.
Alongside those are first-person accounts from members about how their relationships went, and they're mostly about mentorship and family life. One is about competitive chess. Another is about noticing a partner's talent for leadership. Read a few of them and you'll learn more about what sugar dating is like from the inside than any review can tell you, this one included.
Dr. Candice Cooper-Lovett
Dr. Candice Cooper-Lovett, PhD, LMFT-S, CST, ABS is a licensed sex therapist, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, and Board-Certified Sexologist with over 20 years of experience. Her work has been featured in Vogue, Bustle, Yahoo Lifestyle, MadameNoire, and Scary Mommy. She is the owner of A New Creation Psychotherapy Services, LLC.
Read full bio →As featured in
